I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize