btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
