i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
