sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
