If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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