I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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