It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
