I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
How's work?
Spinning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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