Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
