u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize