how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
