this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
