I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
