worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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