It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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