just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
