Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Couch. On fire.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
