In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
