Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think my tv is drunk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize