it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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