I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
