fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have demons in me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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