How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
