I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
