Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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