i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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