his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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