Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
