What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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