God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize