you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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