So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
