They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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