just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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