Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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