I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
