Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
