I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
