You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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