hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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