were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
