yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize