We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
