I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Umm I'm too high to move.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
