If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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