I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
