I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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