i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
