if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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