the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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