she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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