He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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