Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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