there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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