whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
