I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
