But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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