Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
