i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
