and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize