i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize