My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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