dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize